Pascal Derrien

8 months ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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The Best Friend You Have Never Met

The Best Friend You Have Never Met


If you have never met one, he or she could have elephant ears, a tapir nose and seven legs. Well that’s pretty unlikely but we have seen weirder things in the world. He or she wants the best for you. He or she is going to bring you wealth, health, fame, recognition and will make sure it will be all about you and nothing but you. Sounds too good to be true. The prodigal stranger with a magic wand. Surely that’s so rare. But the things is it is not….so rare.

I am pretty sure you too have met one of those friends. I have. Their names are Igor, Rose, Elizabeth there are a few Johns in the mix and sometimes there are even a few lawyers and doctors. They like to surprise you with sometimes an unsolicited email for many but they also favour surprise invitations on various platforms comments thread.

One of their favourite past time is to drop their contact details urging you to get in touch thru WhatsApp or any other channel of your choice. They are altruists like that and they are really accommodating. Whatever link you prefer they got it. What can I say they want the best for you so how could you resist? Surely you would not be suspicious would you?

Some say they have malicious intent, they mention ransomware, trolling, malware or dubious intents. Should we give them the benefit of the doubt ? They are humans too after all and if its true that they are not what they are claiming to be they may not have always been like that.

I am pretty sure Igor, Rose or Elizabeth were playful children, they were maybe even very polite teenagers before they earned their fake PhDs and Degrees. What has really happened to them? Maybe we are very harsh towards those individuals. I would like to think of them as victims. What has pushed them to share all that wealth towards people they don’t even know.

Hear me out. They could have kept it for them but no they thought they would share with the world. I have even heard about love stories and awkward sometimes explicit love declarations. It has really happened. For the most reserved among them who fear rejection I am told they sometimes ask for your bank details in order to make a donation to a charity of your choice. Is this not so sweet !!!

What sadden me the most I must say is their lack of recognition. Ah surely they are more than just click bait trappers. Listen, in the digital wild west it’s a hard life earning a decent living. It’s a very hostile environment. We need to recognize they are maybe simply good will mercenaries. They have their character flaws that’s alright and we can all agree on that. But what is really heart breaking is that their calling often ends badly.

Very recently I read a eulogy called The Sad Life & Tragic Ending Of Igor The Spammer. I would share it with you but the thing is it got

DELETED


Copyright Pascal Derrien 2021
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Comments

Javier 🐝 CR

6 months ago #41

spammer removed. Thanks for your patience.

Pascal Derrien

7 months ago #40

#40
ah at last a spammer I was almost getting disappointed not having one on this particular post :-) Javier \ud83d\udc1d CR

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #39

#38
I smiled :-)

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

8 months ago #38

#36
What about all this "size doesn't matter" adage? :-)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

8 months ago #37

#36
🤣🤣🤣

Ken Boddie

8 months ago #36

#29
looks like the dig’s off. The pub owner flat refused to invest so I asked the leprechaun if he could sponsor us, but it appears he’s a little short. 😂

Lada 🏡 Prkic

8 months ago #35

#32
#33 Then we'll start counting from 3. :-)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

8 months ago #34

#32
😂😂

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #33

#32
I am sure Lada's superb command of english will get that.....colloquialism. Maybe yes maybe not :-) I am not explaining

Ken Boddie

8 months ago #32

#28
#29 Use numbers if you must Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic but don’t call me number two. Even my grandson knows it’s shit. 🤣

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #31

#30
Super stuff John much appreciated 17th is close enough and it will be a virtual parade this year

John Rylance

8 months ago #30

#26
#28 #29 I may have an answer. I came across this poem by Shirley Thomas. The Leprechaun's Key This little key once upon Belonged to a Leprechaun It is the key to the cache Holding all his golden stash Leave it out St Paddy's Eve So that he may come retrieve But by the laws of old He must leave a pot of gold This Pascal, may explain the previous poem i quoted re gold covered coins made of chocolate. The 17th March is St Patrick's day.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

8 months ago #29

#28
I am sorry to hear that my response shocked you. Perhaps the pub owner can help as a fourth partner before we all be bankrupt without even starting. I agree we start calling each other by numbers.

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #28

#27
I was so looking forward to do the digging I even invested in a brand new shovel now its my turn to be in shock #26 . How about we call each by numbers just to keep a low profile (leprechaun pun :-) )

Lada 🏡 Prkic

8 months ago #27

#26
I understand you entirely, Ken. So many species are endangered because of us humans, and you should try with all means to preserve this endangered species of Scottish moths that live in your wallet. I tried to contact Tom Taylor, but his LI profile got deleted, and his email address doesn't exist anymore. I am in shock. I didn't believe that a Captain-General of the US Army/UN peacekeeping patrol troops could lie. The only solution left is that you and a person dear to me do all the digging, and Pascal Derrien finances the expedition. I'm still in shock.

Ken Boddie

8 months ago #26

#25
sorry Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic but I have a family of endangered Scottish moths living in my wallet and dare not open it for fear of disturbing them. I therefore suggest that we wait for your army friend to come good with the alluvial gold. Meanwhile old mate the leprechaun is getting rather grumpy and pushy and I’ve run up quite a tab at the local pub buying him pints of Guinness to try and keep him happy. Let’s hope we can start this venture soon or I’ll be bankrupt. Perhaps I should approach the pub owner to come onboard as a fourth partner, provided he can come good with some financial backing?

Lada 🏡 Prkic

8 months ago #25

#20
Ken, after I stopped rolling on the floor laughing, I have considered your proposal carefully. Here's what I suggest. I cannot travel to Ireland for the reasons I must not say in public (it's the matter of national security). Instead, I will send someone dear to me for helping Pascal in all the digging. That person will take the gold on my behalf. But I would like you to finance the whole expedition until I settle with Captain-General of the US Army/UN peacekeeping patrol troops, Tom Taylor, my share of alluvial gold in Ghana. I'm sure he'll keep the promise. So I'm in if you are. What do you say? 😎

John Rylance

8 months ago #24

#23
No he was happy because it was well passed its sell by/best before dates.

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #23

#22
Well noted John Rylance was the leprechaun very sad after ?

John Rylance

8 months ago #22

#20
#18 #19 Beware, take note of Janice Wagstaff's poem Leprechaun's Gold I met a little Leprechaun With bags and bags of gold He needed help to carry them For he was very old I volunteered to doit But to my surprise The gold was realy chocolate Covered in disguise I really love chocolate So I had to say Dear leprechaun Im sorry friend I ate your gold

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #21

#20
I have a SPADE when do we start Ken and Lada

Ken Boddie

8 months ago #20

#18
Hey Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic and me. Here's the deal. Pascal does all the digging, as he's fit and healthy and based in Ireland, where the special rainbow's end is to be found, and you finance the expedition with an initial deposit that I need to pay my leprechaun friend. On receipt of the funds, my new found and very generous Link Tin leprechaun friend will send the coordinates of the end of the rainbow where, of course, the pot of gold is to be found. It sounds almost too good to be true, but I'm assured that a leprechaun never lies. So how about it you two? Are you in or are you in?

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #19

#18
Thanks Lada hey he is my friend he contacted me too !!! :-)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

8 months ago #18

Hi Pascal, I had a "friend" on LinkedIn who introduced himself as Captain-General of the US Army/UN peacekeeping patrol troops, Tom Taylor. 😃 He contacted me to help him delivery a few kilograms of alluvial pure gold from Ghana. I am sure he just wanted the best for me and bring me wealth. 😂 I saved that mail as a reminder. Excellent post, one of your best.

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #17

#15
:-) Joyce :-)

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #16

#12
thanks JIm :-)

Ya know--that actually looks like about how my day went...

Ugly sucker...

Jim Murray

8 months ago #13

Have you ever thought about posting on Biz Catalyist 360˚?

Jim Murray

8 months ago #12

Applause from Canada

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #11

#10
ah cheers Greg I would personally not go that far but kind words much appreciated :-)

Greg Rolfe

8 months ago #10

Fantastic as always Pascal Derrien!

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #9

#8
many thanks Debasish Majumder :-)

Debasish Majumder

8 months ago #8

wonderful buzz Pascal Derrien! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the buzz.

Harvey Lloyd

8 months ago #7

#6
Laughed my A off.

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #6

#5
This is hilarious Solomon !!!

Harvey Lloyd

8 months ago #5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiLS7U7YIdc

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #4

#3
damn I am so disappointed :-(

Ken Boddie

8 months ago #3

I forgot to add, Pascal, that your plea for sympathy and clemency, on behalf of the defendant, although cleverly, colourfully and comprehensively stated, is denied by the court of common law bloggers. 👎

Pascal Derrien

8 months ago #2

#1
Your comment deserved to be framed Ken . Its how do you say again....poetic in a way I could not describe

Ken Boddie

8 months ago #1

Now here was I, Pascal, confident in my assumptions that trolls, spammers and bots are simplistic misplaced purveyors of all things too good to be true. Your imagery, however, of “click bait trappers”, whose more feather brained animalistic brethron charm the common SM dabbler by playing Friar Tuck bagpipes like Hamlin’s Pied Piper, sets me spinning into a much higher orbit of loathing. My sympathies remain with the spammed rather than the spammers. Recognition is for heroes not snake-charming, spell-casting, scumbags. Fair shake of the sauce bottle, mate. An asshole by any other name is still a self centred circumferential rectal ring. 🤣

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