No Subject

Hello how are you? I don’t know if I answered. Reason being is that I was not too sure who this was addressed to. The person in front me though was very sure almost ultra-assertive who she was talking to , I guess it’s just that the addressee was probably coming across as a bit confused. I did not answer or maybe I mumbled something I don’t remember. Not the first time it has happened though. Let me explain if I can. 

Not an easy one. There were signs, insignificant at first and then I could not ignore them. It became obvious that I was tired that I had lost interest. Change was coming, all set to become an old butterfly leaving the not so young larvae behind. If it does not really clarify things that is how I see things anyway. I get it you may think I am a tad mad, and I may possibly agree with you. I think its simpler than that.

I am not the old me anymore, but I am unsure there is a new me just yet, it really feels that I am further away from myself as I have ever been, yet I have the sentiment I am probably closer to the core me I will ever be. That’s a pretty fucked up state of mind you may say. Well, I don’t disagree but I don’t know how to describe it otherwise so here you go carry on my friends.

Maybe I am in a waiting room. The thing is I don’t know for how long or even how it’s gonna be maybe when I get out (if I get out). Will it only be for 5 minutes some may say 6 hours others reckon about 7 days, but it could also be 800 years for all I care who knows ? I don’t ! do you ? I see your eyes they say the dude does not make a huge pile of sense here. Go figure.

That’s the thing I don’t really have a huge interest in figuring it out either. It’s comfie and safe out there its sheltered from all the ambition junkies and countless wannabes. You know who I am talking about the ones who know everything about nothing, the ones who share their opinions even when you did not even ask for it. I found there are more of them. They are reproducing fast and faster, a bit like products coming from a factory. Identical in every aspect with a big seal of approval. Yeah, they are everywhere, bunch of clones wearing the same elevator speech. 

Inspirational BS, aspirational superficiality, corporate docility, scripted uncivility, anxious formality, right wing what aboutery you name it. There is a lot of noise out there in different shapes or forms.

You are doing the same mate they will say …. you need to produce solutions they will say, walk the talk ….  

Whatever