Pascal Derrien

4 years ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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Armed & Dangerous

Armed & Dangerous


My parents named me Corentin, I don't know if it was a reference to a long gone king or to a founding saint who got Brittany's heart pounding. Anyway, I am Corentin G. Seven hundred and eighty. That's the cell number of the prison where I am meant to stay forever. I am Corentin G. condemned to hard labour because I am a murderer. 

Every now and then I wonder if every serial killer, murderer or dictator was a bully when they were a toddler ? When did they swap their teddy for a rifle? Do those things have beginnings like in the Bible ?

They say you can spot the early signs, anything from antisocial behaviour towards else to arson with a view to hurt a person. Some add shiftlessness while others cite abuse and voyeurism as final warnings leading to barbarism.

As far as I remember I was a good kid. Me and my sister were more than just great pals but one day she left and of my life this has always been the greatest theft. 

That day I lost my innocence and all there was to get from the joyful time of the enfance. Trying to bridge the gap of her absence, I have always been on a chase to fill a deep emotional inheritance.

As a consequence, they say I wanted the world to pay, they say I wanted the humanity to obey because of it I thought it was decay. According to them, I journeyed into a state that they call mental illness all because of the shock of discovering her body lifeless.

At first I was very gauche at instilling fear with an excessively violent debauch. They say I killed because I wanted somebody for their life to pray, they say that's why I became a hunter rather than a prey. 

Sometimes it makes me sad that I have become so bad. It's such a terrible thing to be addicted to such a monstrous craving. For me there has never been a conscious wake up call, just an unstoppable downfall, I have turned into a mad ball embarking on a journey with no stops at all. Oblivious to the pain I could inflict to one or the other I have grown into a ferocious murderer, a voracious and meticulous annihilator 

With no friend to play pretend, I sometimes look at the mirror with a repulsive horror especially when I recall with stupor the first day my fingers took a scalp with a pair of scissors. With nothing left to believe apart from an inability to grieve, slaying became my thing, a momentary relief from the suffering, a time when I was once again a king.

My last victim was found in Dallymount but I think I should spare you the body count. I am an old man now with a drained animosity and his hair too curly. I am an old man who would like to be rocked softly. I am an old man who would give anything to be once again a baby.

I am so sorry I have led so many people towards Corentin G, I am so sorry they have become a casualty on my tormented trajectory. Occasionally I question myself and smile with melancholy at the thought of Auntie Mary always unconditionally saying how lovely it was to see me dealing with my favourite bunny.

It is hard for me to accept that things have become so wild because like you once I was a child.






Sources
People and stuff
Crime Museum

Photo Credit 
I was a child of the universe now I am a man of the world

Produced for beBee only

Written Material  Copyright 2017 -Pascal Derrien -




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Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #43

#45
thanks Pamela \ud83d\udc1d Williams I like you have many questions with too few answers, something gets altered or corrupted along the way I think

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #42

#43
oh genius I don't know different maybe unless you commented on the wrong article Lyon Brave :-) anyway nice to see you dropping by :-)

Lyon Brave

4 years ago #41

genius

Lyon Brave

4 years ago #40

genuis

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #39

#40
thanks Cyndi wilkins chemistry, context, upbringing etc..... even though we all start at the same point not everyone get a safe let alone head start :-(

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #38

#19
Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher...You make a crucial point here... "I think of people like Jeffrey Dahmer as one example. I won't go into gory detail but the way he killed and what he did afterwards will never make sense." I do not believe that people are inherently 'inhuman'...and certainly this young man behaved as such...cannibalism is a sure sign of chemical disorder in the brain...the body itself becomes 'canabolic' when it is starved of vital nutrients...as seen in those who suffer disorders such as anorexia...I remember seeing an article or interview with Dalmer's father in which he stated that he was very concerned for his unborn child as his wife was a manic depressant and on several mood altering medications during her first trimester of pregnancy...apparently not realizing she was pregnant at the time. There was an image of the letter he sent to the doctor...and the return answer was of significant concern as the first trimester is crucial to the fetus' developing brain...I'm no scientist...and I'm not defending this young man by any stretch of the imagination...but I would say he was born very mentally ill....That said, his story and life served a higher purpose in educating us all on the dangers of using drugs during pregnancy...Prescription or not...This brings to mind the issue of abortion...but that's a discussion for another time. A sobering reminder for us all Pascal Derrien...

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #37

#38
Hey Aaron \ud83d\udc1d Skogen I think you are dead (no pun :-) )right !!!

Milos Djukic

4 years ago #36

#36
Sure Pascal Derrien, my friend :)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #35

#32
life is Tenuous 😀 Milos Djukic many thanks for commenting and the video too 😀

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #34

#33
oh I know and if I sweat more I am going to lose a bone 😀 many thanks for reading

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #33

#31
I got scared writing it too Bill :-)

Milos Djukic

4 years ago #32

Great article Pascal Derrien! Light and darkness are like epic fantasy. Both are ubiquitous and omnipresent, hence essential in order to see the whole. Returning back to self in order to remain self-similar. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtB4mMBBq_Q

This picture scares me 😳

Phil Friedman

4 years ago #30

#29
I agree. Let me leave you with this thought: Those who are truly positive about life and living are NOT those who refuse to recognize Evil and its handmaiden, Misfortune. The truly positive of this world are those who fully recognize Evil and Misfortune for what they are and ... spit in their eye.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #29

#28
Thanks Phil Friedman always a constructive point of view :-), I am a very optimistic person in fact :-) but I like exploring dark angles with my inquisitive torch. Crazy stuff is happening all the time no later than 10 days ago my daughter and wife were 5mns away from a mowing car in London... how do we produce these type of individuals in our society is still a question that needs to be answered, I find it being a more relevant interrogation than the 5 ways to..... :-) ?

Phil Friedman

4 years ago #28

#25
You "can", Pascal, but only at the risk of offending the Honey Police. Never forget, life can be exactly as you want it to be, if you just believe in yourself and concentrate on the positive. Or something like that. Anyway, I just sent out 50 or so sympathy notes with that thought to many who lost loved ones in Las Vegas. Cheers!

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #27

#24
I wish my POV was unique and i could just be considered a crazy old man. But history of civilizations seem to point towards survival mode, the banning of people and communities to support each other. Then we evolve into the godlike mode of mans pennicle of achievement and the materialism begins. This is an observation and not a condemnation. My prayer is this epoch will survive its evolution. We may have grunted and painted on walls or grew to stone tablet writing and now iPads, but the human condition/brain is pretty much the same. I was given a book that took the Old Testement and turned into novel like narrative, that from a historical perspective, told the tale i speak to. The rise and fall of the Roman Empire along with the Aztecs, Myan’s and many other civilizations seemed to follow the similar patterns. You ask a valid question and no its not a dark question, but rather a question of self awareness we tend to avoid. To ask it would cause us to look internally, that is the dark place we wish to avoid. Especially when Visa offers us a look at the Disneyland the brain so enjoys. No you ask the question because you know it must be answered. Dont stop asking or seeking its discussion. As always you spark real discussion concerning real humanity. Visa will never ask these questions.

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

4 years ago #26

#25
i shall remember this

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #25

#23
I was asked yesterday why am I writing stuff so dark and unsettling at times, the answer was.... because I can :-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #24

#22
as often you provide a unique point of view Harvey Lloyd :-) Is it a sign of the times or can we so gore and brutal as a specie ? I agree with the join the game comment, if you look at corporations who sell hugs and kisses thru their CSR marketing campaigns and intentionally manage their staff to mental exhaustion. All is calm on the surface but altogether very different under the primary line of vision.

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #23

I love these styled questions but most do not. The answers require us to look at ourselves and release the materialism we have sought. Every human is priceless and the mind of our youth is watching the pictures we paint everyday. Not just parents but media, and communities. I dont have individaul answers but it seems quite obvious that specific environments the brain is exposed to determine many aspects of outcomes. These environments we would deem improper though thrust us into the living room of civil rights and personal freedoms. This is why we tend to stay at the outcome end of the dicussion. You present tough questions and i sense the answers will be just as tough, should we ever decide to wade into the real answers. This epoch does not end well.

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #22

You dont ask easy questions, nor are they socially discussed as much as they should be. These styled questions cause us to look into our own parenting and relationships from a point of Disneyland. History somewhat describes the spawaning of barbarism, mental illness and other conditions where the mind needs revenge. Many civilizations started great but ended with power and materialism as its nemisis. Basically the sorting of humans by material things with barriers estabslihed to simulate the power of a few. Our world has entered this phase or epoch of materialism. Many are not happy with their position in life. This is escalated by marketing, politics and media in general. I dont sense the intent is to destroy civilization but rather to win at the game they are playing. Humanity is merely collateral damage. Marketing displays must have products and services of the powerful, while Visa offers the chance to join in the game. This spiral finds many people suddenly trapped. The segmenting of any population by powerful groups who profit from the process sets the stage for the have and have nots. With this stage in place the generational view of avenging various classes is set. I have coined this as environmental emotional disturbance. No physical issues but the environment has focused the brain to see the world from a picture that no one has a copy but none the less paints.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #21

#18
thanks Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador I am no expert but interesting to think than most may have the same life baseline and then become violently deviant :-(

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #20

#19
Thanks Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher the brain chemistry and its mystery despite big inroads seem to remain a vast untapped territory, a human Russian roulette

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #19

I think most men are not born with evil in them but I also believe there are few who's brain cells were wired like an animal seeking it's prey. It's sad for who never felt love, were abused their entire lives and become the killer. As for those few who I seriously believe were damaged from birth- there is no help for them. I think of people like Jeffrey Dahmer as one example. I won't go into gory detail but the way he killed and what he did afterwards will never make sense.

So sad that those that start out as mere babes that fear monsters at night turn into monsters themselves. Where do we begin to understand the when, where, what, why and how a mind becomes deranged?

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #17

#16
thanks Alan I am always surprised how people become deviant the question is: is it avoidable?

Alan Culler

4 years ago #16

Pascal Derrien A powerful study -we know not the fragility of the equilibrium we call a functioning loving person. -"Corentin G -[of late of cell] . Seven hundred and eighty." -would that I could help with avoiding your shattering or know how to put the pieces back together again.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #15

#14
as always a unique insight Ian with a great perspective I did not know the quote from Mandela 😀

Ian Weinberg

4 years ago #14

Man is not born evil (Mandela). But in an unloved home, the unloved child may shift into the narrative of "Why should I be the only one to suffer?" Thence shall evil well up and blood spill for as long as it draws breath!

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #13

#12
thanks Debasish Majumder always good to obtain your seal of approval :-)

Debasish Majumder

4 years ago #12

nice share Pascal Derrien! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the share.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #11

#10
thanks Ken Boddie for helping us and shedding some light on this tricky individual :-)

Ken Boddie

4 years ago #10

This Corentin was no Breton saint. A child denied a childhood morphs into an adult denied a raison d’être. A tormented soul seeking solace in the suffering of others. 😱

#7
I tend to think it is both Jan \ud83d\udc1d Barbosa

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #8

#7
thanks Jan \ud83d\udc1d Barbosa I think I would tend to agree... diary of a loss

Jan 🐝 Barbosa

4 years ago #7

#5
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee comments square on . Dont think he is repentant of what he"s done to others but to what he lost along the way.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #6

#5
thank you Ali, it is nice to read your comments, I like the way you use the word ''deposits'' :-)

It is amazing how "deposits" of the past accumulate and may lead to running lives and in turn those with ruined live lust to infect the same on others. Pascal Derrien I thank you for sharing this amazing buzz.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #4

#3
thanks Laurent Boscherini I think people can probably read and relate to this one in many different ways hopefully they will take a little bit of something away even though they may not dropped such an encouraging comment :-)

Laurent Boscherini

4 years ago #3

Thank you Pascal Derrien for sharing your amazing post, so relevant to remind us, how it is important to not look back too much but enough, to understand who we are now, perpetually in progress and process to rebirth. Excellent match between picture, words and video 😉

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #2

#1
I think so too, the growing path is not as funny as playing with the bubbles in a bath.......

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

4 years ago #1

Most of us used to be good kids.

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