Pascal Derrien

4 years ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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When Writing Is Futile

When Writing Is Futile


This article started as one of my usual tormented urban poems but then I stopped…. I looked at the few words in front of me and I thought they were mostly crap. It did not work, there was no fluidity, no melody, no emergency maybe I had finally reached one of those dark outposts where you trip over your own tracks.

The previous few days I had stumbled over a surge of raw and sudden thoughts, I had fought against them for a while, but they were clearly too strong, was there any point anyway. For a moment, I settled with the comforting thought of becoming a spectator, I agreed there was too much vanity in this pedantic gymnastic called artistry, so getting encouraged by the soldiers of conformity I helped liberating whatever was left of human honesty.

At best, I thought I only temporarily had enough of playing the narrative ping pong, at worst I figured out it was about time to throw the twisted pen in the Mekong. With relief as a grief I finally began to accept that blogging was probably almost as futile as feeding chicken curry to a reptile.

Was there really a need anyway to constantly ride into a dead end, I am no writer. In no way, I despise the exercise, but writing is cumbersome, exhausting often gruesome, it’s sometimes a bit like inviting zombie friends to unearth emotions at a walking dead function.

On Monday I buried my mother in law,

Not a big fan of Hail Mary I was, for sure you knew, but It did not really matter as long as I ate some of your Irish stew. You believed in a guy wearing rags and carrying a big cross I did not. You accepted there would always be a bit of frost at the mention of the name of your big boss. To evoke this is needless, you were always selfish less, even in sickness or at the peak of your weakness………

On Wednesday, I finally left my job

No big deal, just a different drill, a different pose with a different prose. Marketing bloggers will tell me it’s a timely opportunity for a new personal centricity, an exciting time where only the best in the crowd will applaud, the sceptical may mention a new major fraud, on the other hand some meteorologists will produce a forecast stating there is a slight chance that the whole weather system one day might just explode.

It does not really matter if it is the most inconvenient time to get the baby out of his cot, there is no need to worry, in the end at our own game we all get caught….

On Friday

………………

Reprise

Not a big fan of Hail Mary I was, for sure you knew, but It did not really matter as long as I ate some of your Irish stew. You believed in a guy wearing rags and carrying a big cross I did not. You accepted there would always be a bit of frost at the mention of the name of your big boss. To evoke this is needless, you were always selfish less, even in sickness or at the peak of your weakness………






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Written Copyright 2017 -Pascal Derrien-


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Comments

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #38

#44
thanks for dropping by Lyon Brave ☺

Lyon Brave

4 years ago #37

why would you write this Dean lol

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #36

#42
Shelley Brown many thanks for dropping by and for the kind words too ☺

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #35

#39
thanks not sure it is a masterpiece but this is all i could manage with the assistance of mind forceps ☺

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #34

#38
thanks for sharing this out of space dream funny there is one particular dream that has come back to me recently ☺

Pascal Derrien- is it grief that brings the best out of writers/ This is the relief. I extend my support to you and your wife. Sweetness of writing in the sadness of losing a beloved one and you certainly wrote a masterpiece.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #32

#36
ah yeah it came up in french ☺had not even realized ☺ thanks for readung Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen

somber to be sure, but you made me laugh in comradery. Forgive me.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #30

😔 #34 thanks appreciate the kind words indeed not easy to elevate the mind sometimes Martin Wright

Martin Wright

4 years ago #29

A touching piece. At this time of loss it cam be difficult to get the thoughts out in a way which feels right. Our thoughts are with you.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #28

I #32 many thanks Ken Boddie I know I know...... ☺ always more convincing when somebody else is saying it (ta) 😏

Ken Boddie

4 years ago #27

My thoughts are with you and your wife, Pascal, and for the obvious void in your lives. But there are no dead ends ..... only new beginnings ..... and challenges to provide us with self doubt. Your road block has a detour round it, but sometimes we need to sit and wait for the windscreen wipers to kick in, so that we can see the way forward.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #26

#29
Ah Praveen Raj Gullepalli you probably need to speak to the guy you are speaking about (but he aint' on this thread) :-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #25

#25
ah thats nice to hear especially coming from a real writer Paul Walters !!! :-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #24

#26
ah thanks Dean Owen I did not even had a job title on my last business card :-) those things are not for me in general :-)

Dean Owen

4 years ago #23

It appears that often the ones that don't call themselves a writer are the best. I mean who knew that Gert had a book published! I've known him for over a year and didn't know... I love the modest touch of you both, never tooting your own horn. To me, you are truly original in a social media land devoid of originality.

Paul Walters

4 years ago #22

Pascal Derrien Ahhh but you see you are a writer even though the task is cumbersome I note that one thousand four hundred people have read this post since you put it up...That's quite an audience. me? , I love your stuff !!!

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #21

#23
thanks Chas \u270c\ufe0f Wyatt a philosoph in his own right Chuck ☺

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #20

#21
I'm so happy to hear that Pascal Derrien, that's when you know how much they value you and others. My kids were amazing too and it only deepened our relationships.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #19

#20
thanks Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher I have learned a lot the last 6 weeks :-) My kids have impressed me the most.....

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #18

I'm very sorry for your loss Pascal Derrien, "you were always selflish less even in the peak of your sickness or at the peak of your weakness." Powerful, heart provoking words. The song, wow........ it spoke for itself. I want to hear about your weekend and next week. Wishing you the best and sending good thoughts your way.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #17

#16
many thanks Donna-Luisa Eversley working on Sat as we speak :-) Appreciate your words from the heart

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #16

#15
thanks Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman nice words maybe I should write about marketing content no I am joking :-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #15

#14
thnaks Ian Weinberg has to be irish dancing then :-)

This is intense Pascal Derrien and you know what sets you apart as a writer, you're so "real" with how you pen your thoughts. Excellent piece.

Ian Weinberg

4 years ago #13

Those moments of rarefied space when the bottom falls out ... and the question pops up 'what's it all about?' Then the meaninglessness and despair. Are we making a difference? I have no idea. But Pascal Derrien I do know that we have to dance our unique parts in the Great Dance!

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #12

#12
thanks round and round we go that 's a kool circle of life description :-)

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #11

I repeat Sara's words. Loved the prose, poetry and selection of music👍 And your writing is raw and Love it too ☺ Round and round we go in this thing called life. In the end in our own game we are all caught. There was too much vanity in this pedantic gymnastic called artistry, this resonates with me so bad for the last few weeks or so. Keep buzzing Pascal It doesn't really matter to some but it does to me and many 🐝🐝🐝🐝

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #10

I repeat Sara's words. Loved the prose, poetry and selection of music👍 And your writing is raw and Love it too ☺ Round and round we go in this thing called life. In the end in our own game we are all caught. There was too much vanity in this pedantic gymnastic called artistry, this resonates with me so bad for the last few weeks or so. Keep buzzing Pascal It doesn't really matter to some but to me and many 🐝🐝🐝🐝

Hahaha, some stupid Spaniard will have to remind you of that Custer chrome you lacked. ;-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #8

#8
hu I am getting embarrassed by the comments now, you guys are probably reading another post and a technical glitch direct them to the comment section of this post. Thank you Lisa Vanderburg :-)

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #7

OMG Pascal Derrien I am feeling....falling...failing, but that's because you took me there, and I'm so very grateful. Me case su case, me alma su alma, me corazón es su corazón.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #6

#6
thanks @Julio Angel \ud83d\udc1dLopez Lopez :-) that made me smile :-) I think the day I start to believe in my own hype I am doomed ....

I like reading this denial of writer called Pascal Derrien Authentic people are what they want to be.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #4

#3
thank you Master Poet debasish majumder always good to see you casting an eye on this unstructured piece :-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #3

#1
oh thank you Sara Jacobovici I knid of agree it was intense enough to get that one out :-)

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #2

Pascal Derrien writes and it is worth reading.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #1

For someone who considers himself "no writer", Pascal Derrien, you are one heck of a writer. Hard to pull out one example, but I chose this one, "For a moment, I settled with the comforting thought of becoming a spectator, I agreed there was too much vanity in this pedantic gymnastic called artistry, so getting encouraged by the soldiers of conformity I helped liberating whatever was left of human honesty." This piece gets an "intense" (my favorite word) rating from me. I'm sorry for your losses but definitely admire and appreciate how you move through them and move me by writing about it all. Love the prose, poetry and selection of music. Thanks Pascal and good wishes.

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