Pascal Derrien

4 years ago · 4 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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Flash Backs On An Ordinary Tuesday Morning

Flash Backs On An Ordinary Tuesday Morning

A few days ago on a sunny albeit windy Irish morning, I noticed that the sun was very high and the sky clear. If I am correct there was also a touch of humidity in the air that day, was it the weather or a particular Tuesday mood that triggered it who knows? Not for the first time I ended up thinking about people and where do they go on and about, why do they wear ants like uniforms and why are they so busy at avoiding as much as they can the interferences of their own existence. Yeah I was probably in one of those deep observation and thinking modes again, I had been aware that the old me had been thinking about the young me for the last few days so there should have been no surprises when I noticed that my perception captors were on high alert that particular morning. I saw, I heard, I felt, and I think I wrote

I saw

I saw a doctor that morning after dropping my kids at school, a bit run down by the events of the last few weeks and a long overdue check up made up a perfect pretext for a trip to the health centre. It was a locum on the day, a retired Spanish doctor who needed to understand the Irish system in relation to an African project of his. It turned out that he spoke French too and despite GP's following WHO guidelines he had a real continental way of conducting the examination. While he went thru various check up steps in French, my mind flew back to a French surgery .

In my early 20's anxiety had finally caught up with me, the result of years of avoidance had finally stamped a need to address some severe lack of sleep, dizziness, energy drops and the feeling of having gazillions of needles going thru my head. I was told I had spasmophilia, a non condition (in Ireland) for some GP's an affliction for others (in France). As a form of treatment, I was given Magnesium B2, it seemed to work the treat I was about to say work the trick as maybe my mind was only responsive to placebos :-) I was normally back on track very quickly.

But back to that current Tuesday morning, it seems that I am very fit according to Doctor Jose but none the less I have to get blood tests. Merci Docteur or should I say Muchas gracias

I heard

After the GP visit I headed to a local mall to get a cup of coffee and buy a few groceries. I heard somebody shouting at someone's else not too far from where I was parked. My eyes located the incident quickly. A white guy in his big SUV was abusing an Indian guy who could not get out of his car, the tone reached a point where I decided to get out of the car and ask if everything was alright.

The pale bloke was surprised by my intervention and probably out of frustration banged his door against the coloured man's vehicle. I reiterated my question and added that I would be happy to call the Garda nearest patrol would it help to settle the situation down. The trick worked and Majid, that was the name of the Indian chap, confirmed that as far as he was concerned the incident was closed. He then thanked me for my interposition.

After the incident and for reasons that I cannot put a finger on , I ended up remembering an episode of my childhood. I was waiting for my dad on the ground floor of an apartment complex where we lived at the time. Not always a pleasant wait it was, my father had the bad habit of skipping the family dinner for a liquid one at a local bar. More than once I had noticed that he had been drinking and driving back home.

That day I saw the familiar car making an attempt to park in front of me but there was the unusual silhouette of a man unknown to me sitting next to my father. I don't how , why or what triggered the altercation but I heard loud insults, an attempt to attack my dad and maybe a few punches were exchanged but finally the man ran away. My dad realising I had seen the whole thing enquired about me and how I was. As odd as it seems the event had sobered him up and the rest of the evening was spent on toxic levels not polluted by alcohol fumes.

The guy in the big SUV left the car park not without sending me a threatening look. I smiled.

I felt

Shaking off the bad taste resulting from the previous event, I reminded myself that the trip to the mall was part of the Tuesday's dinner plan. So off I went to the fishmonger station, I ordered salmon and white fish and my eyes got attracted by the big sword the man in charge was carrying in his holder. While he was taking the skin off the fishes and weighting them I was overwhelmed by a feeling of excitement and nostalgia, when was the last time I felt like that.

It was a big deal for me, I was 14 and older guys had taken me under their wings. They were not the cool bunch but there were not geeks either a bit nerdy but that was OK with me. I had been given permission to go to the cinema with them most Friday evenings, that particular end of week day despite being under age and the film being PG rated, they had decided to squeeze me in and get me a seat to watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

My adrenalin was pumped up to the max, I was apprehensive yet reassured, there was something exciting about all this maybe it was just being part of the gang. I got in and I...closed my eyes most part of the movie.

Do you need anything else with this? That's what the supermarket assistant said, no I am grand I answered with my best Irish twang.

I think I wrote

It was not even midday then when I got back home and I think I wrote. I think I wrote about life anchors and their resonance, if that was not the case I must admit my error but I am positive it was mostly about daily events sinking in the depths of an ordinary nostalgia liquor.

Hopefully one day in one of those rare moments of solidity the current me will be able to write about the future me.

In the meantime have a happy Tuesday :-)

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End of eternity by JCB

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Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #32

No worries a day is just # in the week Aaron \ud83d\udc1d Skogen many thanks :-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #31

Very kind of you :-) I am not great at commenting back but encouragement and observation are much appreciated :-)

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #30

Love it Pascal Derrienpasca I just enjoy reading the way you write and you take me there with you like a time travel to the past and the experience is simply awesome to me. Merci becoup for this beautiful flashback. If I may on behalf of the bees. We all like the past and present you the future you does not hold a big questionmark to me🙂🙂🙂🙂🤗🤗🤗👍👍👍👍

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #29

I get the layer thing it's really the algorithm that is crazy. Consciously i want a hamburger with extra pickles, my subconscious sends me a hotdog with a flat tire on the side. My early studies of the dewey decimal system were not totally correlated into the subconscious. So the book i need requires several orders. Frontal lobe meal time as served by the subconscious is a very delightful time of mystery and intrigue.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #28

Tuesday seems like a good pick for this type of experience Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich thanks so much for adding your comment 😀

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #27

The thanks goes to you. I enjoy your posts as i can identify with your brain wave musings. I'm not sure that is a good thing, none the less i sense we have walked through similar landscapes through out our lives. I only wish i could write as well as you, and lay out the landscapes.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #26

thanks a bunch Sara Jacobovici I am looking forward to reading your ''memoirs'' :-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #25

Cheers Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee and thanks for dropping by :-)

Nice read

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #23

Pascal Derrien writes, "...I am positive it was mostly about daily events sinking in the depths of an ordinary nostalgia liquor."

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #22

Thanks for sharing Pascal Derrien. A privilege to witness and an opportunity to experience. Maybe it is the summer, but I, too, am finding myself writing less and thinking and remembering more. So, I am putting it all together and am writing my "oeuvre" on Identity. I pre-acknowledge you for the inspiration Pascal, thank you. And, as always, great music pairing! Have a great Wednesday!

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #21

thanks Harvey Lloyd you always illuminate the comment thread with your thoughtful comments :-)

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #20

You explained my brain well with the randomness of consciousness. My chemical of choice that kicks this off is adrenaline. Your parking lot dance with mouthpiece would have triggered the Alice and Wonderland adventure for me. Great story line and journey through the synaptic pathways of unconnected thoughts.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #19

cheers Ian Weinberg you probably know one or two things about that for sure !!! I like the layer analogy it makes me think that one is doing a bit of personal archaeology when visiting his past it's historian work really :-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #18

ah thanks Praveen Raj Gullepalli NICE TUNE !!!! to all kings !!! I am actually very optimistic maybe I come across differently :-)i

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #17

agree Phil Friedman modestly I think checking the past every now and again is like consulting my own personal data base I am wired like that but I am always excited about the future :-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #16

I am with you on the summer Jim Murray I am writing less at the moment a lot of other things to enjoy especially the bike if the weather is good many thanks for reading and commenting to all Tuesdays then :-)

Ian Weinberg

4 years ago #15

The past is forever in our present - the flashbacks merely the consciousness of it. Layer upon layer of life, experience and all, but still we are our past at our core. And on it goes ... Thanks Pascal Derrien for an enlightening narrative and reminding me of an early time.

Phil Friedman

4 years ago #14

I suggest, Pascal, that those who experience flashbacks do so because they have lived and so have past incidents to re-live at times. Whilst it may be perplexing, even disturbing at times, how dull one's life must have been if one does not succumb from time to time to a flashback. And to think there are people out there who think of me as pessimistic. :-) Cheers!

Jim Murray

4 years ago #13

My Tuesday was pretty much the same, except for that I rode my bike. Didn't experience any overt racism and never saw my dad all that drunk, although he was a drinker. Thanks for the good read, Pascal Derrien. I'm thinking a lot about writing a longer piece, like a novella or screenplay these days. But then again it's summer and it's hard to muster up the literary angst you need to tackle something like that.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #12

thank you debasish majumder for your consistent support glad you liked it :-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #11

thanks so much Bill Stankiewicz, \ud83d\udc1d Brand Ambassador for sharing that little story of yours much appreciated. I can only imagine what was going on past midnight :-)

Nice post Pascal, at first I was sad in reading because it made me think of similar recollections in my past. Such as being a cashier at Harlos Bistro & Bar in Chicago IlLINOIS back in college. Seen a lot of strange things there trying to lock up after 4:00am on weekends.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #9

thanks Gert Scholtz no expert either I think whatever works for each for me it is important to revisit life landmarks but it does not have to be a confrontation with the past it can be a gentle stroll too 😀 Happy Tuesday then

Gert Scholtz

4 years ago #8

Pascal Derrien A tricky concept on which I am no expert, but I would think that referring to past experiences can be a good thing, and I don’t think a state of solidity means thinking only about the future. Nice how you can make one think around these things. Have a good Tuesday Pascal.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #7

I absolutely agree we should not define our future based on our past but we need to understand it and integrate the experiences many thanks for the kind words and thoughtful comments Vincent Andrew 😀

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #6

merci monsieur Ken Boddie I can settle for that :-)

Ken Boddie

4 years ago #5

Flashbacks they were. Flashbacks they'll be. No mere reminiscences, recollections or memories, these. Flashbacks it is then. Thanks for the corner piece, Pascal.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #4

ah thanks Paul Walters accompanied by a good piece of muzack too :-) encouragement much appreciated :-)

Paul Walters

4 years ago #3

Pascal Derrien a bloody fabulous piece of musing...thank you

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #2

thank you @Julio Angel \ud83d\udc1dLopez Lopez for saying so, like wise :-)

Happy Tuesday Pascal Derrien ;-))

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